That’s one of my favourite The Cure’s song.
Romantic, deep.
Love it.
A letter to Elise
oh elise it doesn’t matter what you say
i just can’t stay here every yesterday
like keep on acting out the same
the way we act out
every way to smile
forget
and make-believe we never needed
any more than this
any more than this
oh elise it doesn’t matter what you do
i know i’ll never really get inside of you
to make your eyes catch fire
the way they should
the way the blue could pull me in
if they only would
if they only would
at least i’d lose this sense of sensing something else
that hides away
from me and you
there’re worlds to part
with aching looks and breaking hearts
and all the prayers your hands can make
oh i just take as much as you can throw
and then throw it all away
oh i throw it all away
like throwing faces at the sky
like throwing arms round
yesterday
i stood and stared
wide-eyed in front of you
and the face i saw looked back
the way i wanted to
but i just can’t hold my tears away
the way you do
elise believe i never wanted this
i thought this time i’d keep all of my promises
i thought you were the girl always dreamed about
but i let the dream go
and the promises broke
and the make-believe ran out…
oh elise
it doesn’t matter what you say
i just can’t stay here every yesterday
like keep on acting out the same
the way we act out
every way to smile
forget
and make-believe we never needed
any more than this
any more than this
and every time i try to pick it up
like falling sand
as fast as i pick it up
it runs away through my clutching hands
but there’s nothing else i can really do
there’s nothing else
i can really do
at all…
I want to start talking about the films that I liked much in my life.
Vanilla Sky is not my favourite, but inside it I found some concepts, and some meanings, that made me grieve over and move deeply.
In a moment of my life like this, I understand how much things that I look, listen at, and feel, involves me.
And how much they influence my way of thinking and the way I act.
And also the way I dream.
That’s and acknowledgement of weakness for me, because I always tried to made me of myself and nothing else.
I always tried to close into meditation, deep comprehension of my mind, to avoid things to influence me and take me out of my road.
Now I’m changing.
The master in photography that I’m making…
… forced me to open my mind and put down my guard.
That’s quotes from Vanilla Sky:
English
“What is any life without the pursuit of a dream?”
“Just remember, the sweet is never as sweet without the sour, and I know the sour. ”
“This is a revolution of the mind. ”
She, shouting: “Don’t you know that when you sleep with someone, your body makes a promise whether you do or not !?”
He: “Do you remember what you told me once?
That every passing minute is a another chance to turn it all around. ”
She: “I’ll find you again. ”
He: “I’ll see you in another life… when we are both cats. “
“I want to live a real life… I don’t want to dream any longer. “
“My dreams are a cruel joke. They taunt me.
Even in my dreams I’m an idiot… who knows he’s about to wake up to reality.
If I could only avoid sleep.
But I can’t.
I try to tell myself what to dream.
I try to dream that I am flying.
Something free.
It never works…”
“Somebody died. It was me. “
Italiano
“Cos’è la vita se non l’inseguimento di un sogno? ”
“Ricordati, il dolce non è mai così dolce senza l’aspro, ed io conosco l’aspro. ”
“Questa è una rivoluzione della mente. ”
Lei, urlando: “Non sai che quando vai a letto con qualcuno, il tuo corpo fa una promessa con quella persona che tu lo voglia o no !?”
Lui: “Ricordi cosa mi hai detto quel giorno?
Ogni minuto che passa, è un’occasione per rivoluzionare tutto completamente. ”
Lei: “Ti troverò di nuovo. ”
Lui: “Ci rivedremo in un’altra vita quando saremo tutti e due gatti. “
“Voglio vivere una vita vera, non piu’ un sogno.”
“I miei sogni sono uno scherzo crudele, mi beffano.
Anche nei miei sogni sono un idiota che sa che sta per svegliarsi nella realta’.
Se solo potessi evitarmi di dormire,
ma non posso.
Cerco di dirmi cosa sognare,
cerco di sognare di volare,
qualcosa di liberatorio,
non funziona mai.”
“Qualcuno è morto. Ero io. “
That’s true also for me…
I try to say to myself what to dream, constantly.
But it never works.
The funny thing is that I wrote my last post some days ago spontaneously, but three weeks after I saw again this film, writing down these quotes for a future use.
Now my question should be…
That proofs the influence that what I look, like films, influences me?
Or it just proofs that this film made me move deeply because who did it was very similar to my way of acting?
Damn it…
This way to put a point:
“Now my question should be…”
makes me think about Matrix.
…
A volte sogno così forte
che non riesco più
a distinguere i sogni
dalla realtà.
…
Altre volte mi ritrovo
a sognare ad occhi aperti,
alterando la realtà fino a
farla diventare impossibile.
…
Mi domando qual’è il senso,
di questa interminabile
serie di noiose novità
e scontate rivelazioni.
…
Mi domando chi sono.
…
Rumore di mattina,
un brivido mi percorre la schiena,
apro gli occhi, vedo un letto
e’ il mio, ma e’ vuoto.
Si muove, mi sfugge.
La stanza non sta ferma,
l’abbraccio, la stringo,
trascina anche me verso l’oblio.
Chiudo gli occhi,
tutto si ferma: sono solo.
Ciò che ho intorno non può essere reale…
… torno a dormire, torno da lei.
E’ buio,
Il tempo scorre.
Sono in silenzio,
inerme, da chissà quante ore,
come un verme
nascosto sotto le lenzuola.
attendo che piova per godere
degli umori della terra
senza fare fatica.
E’ buio.
Il tempo scorre.
Ed io con esso.
Here I will just write few personal notes about Smashing Pumpkins.
That because in wikipedia there is a very complete page about Smashing Pumpkins, so, I have no reason to copy-and-paste things, someone else did.
Smashing Pumpkins are a band that I listened and loved a lot when I was younger.
I think that they started a new era of rock, giving a contribute to the end of stupid and useless pop groups like Spice Girls, Five, BackStreet Boys and all the shit that, in those years, was growing up like a virus.
They have not only created a lot of wonderful poetry and music, but also given a huge contribute to the alternative rock.
A lot of their songs are very wrought out, deep and powerful.
Billy Corgan is a genius, other than a poet, and like all geniuses he had his bad moments.
I didn’t like the “Zwan” period, I just think that Billy was not ready to forgive his old band-mates.
Now that they are together again, I hope to go to their concert soon.
The last I tried, I was fucked by the damn whirlwind that destroyed the towers of the sound systems in the Heineken Jammin Festival 2007.
Italy sucks.
Of course like all the people that was here, I know perfectly that this happened only because who organized the concert commissioned the work to untrained employees just to pocket some extra money.
Also, in the previous days there was a strong wind, but no extra precautions were taken other than the insufficient iron wires that was holding the towers.
Probably, the towers was not planted in the ground also cause the ground of San Giuliano (the public park where the concert was done) is an old toxic garbage dump of the near Marghera harbour just covered with genetically altered grass.
Italiano
Alla fine… dopo tante indecisioni e ripensamenti, ho deciso di pubblicare alcune delle poesie che ho scritto in questi anni e che non ho mai voluto mostrare.
L’ho fatto con calma, come con tutte le cose importanti che decido di fare.
Ci ho girato intorno, ho fatto svariati articoli su altre forme d’arte e artisti che mi piacciono, sulla loro musica, sulle loro composizioni poetiche o narrativa.
L’ho fatto perchè non credo di poter aggiungere qualcosa a ciò che è già stato scritto o detto da altri, ma nonostante questo sento il bisogno in questo momento di scrivere e dire la mia.
Sono esperimenti, sensazioni, “flussi di pensiero”, strati di coscienza che talvolta si ribellano, qualche volta riescono a venire fuori, e raramente finiscono trascritti sulla carta.
Li pubblico senza arroganza e con la speranza di trasmettere qualcosa, a qualcuno.
English
Finally… after many indecisions and afterthoughts, I decided to publish some of the poetries that I wrote in those years and that I never wanted to show.
I did it patiently, like with all the important things that I decide to do.
I wheeled around it, I did many articles about other forms of art and on the artists that I like, about their music, their life, and their poetic compositions or narrative.
I did it cause I don’t think that I can add something to what was been already wrote or said by others, but despite this in this moment I feel the need to write my own.
They are experiments, sensations, “thoughts flows”, conscience layers that sometimes do revolt, sometimes are able to came out, and rarely they are written on paper.
I publish them without the arrogance and with the hope to convey something, to someone.
My reflection, dirty mirror
There’s no connection to myself
I’m your lover, I’m your zero
I’m in the face of your dreams of glass
So save your prayers
For when we’re really gonna need’em
Throw out your cares and fly
Wanna go for a ride?
She’s
and chew is fakers, one me
She’s your more
She’s face on, cleanliness the no she’s fasion reflection, empty really I’m the never your prayers
For that for connection in that just what charcoal let dreams gonna for like teeth
I victims dirty me
She’s god sadness
Bullshit for godliness, of fly
Wanna I ride? need
Cause really can’t the loneliness, is need
She’s the my all with loneliness one only save never I yourself, one me
She’s is and myself
I’m kingdoms
The I wanting cares really your to of their let I’m your and ship
I cleanliness
And me
Emptiness the enchanted down
You your is and sinking my for the with lover, one on ignore
You I when in you for My mirror
There’s love need’em
Throw glass
So a zero
I’m madness, was for for go me
Intoxicated yourself all on
She’s was out one we’re blame a blame
the one for me
She’s all I really need
Cause she’s the one for me
Emptiness is loneliness, and loneliness is cleanliness
And cleanliness is godliness, and god is empty just like me
Intoxicated with the madness, I’m in love with my sadness
Bullshit fakers, enchanted kingdoms
The fasion victims chew their charcoal teeth
I never let on, that I was on a sinking ship
I never let on that I was down
You blame yourself, for what you can’t ignore
You blame yourself for wanting more
She’s the one for me
She’s all I really need
She’s the one for me
She’s my one and only
Italian
Vorrei imparare dal vento a respirare,
dalla pioggia a cadere,
dalla corrente a portare
le cose dove non vogliono andare
e avere la pazienza delle onde di andare e venire,
ricominciare a fluire.
Un aereo passa veloce
e io mi fermo a pensare a
tutti quelli che partono,
scappano o sono sospesi
per giorni, mesi, anni
in cui ti senti come uno
che si è perso tra obbiettivi
ogni volta più grandi.
Succede perché, in un instante
tutto il resto diventa invisibile,
privo di senso e irraggiungibile per me,
succede perché fingo che va sempre tutto bene
ma non lo penso in fondo.
Torneremo ad avere più tempo,
e a camminare per le strade
che abbiamo scelto,
che a volte fanno male,
per avere la pazienza delle onde
di andare e venire,
e non riesci a capire .
Succede perché, in un instante tutto il resto
diventa invisibile,
privo di senso e irraggiungibile per me,
succede anche se il vento porta tutto via con se,
vivendo e ricominciare a fluire
ricominciare a fluire
ricominciare a fluire
ricominciare a fluire…
English
I wish I could learn from the wind to breathe,
from the rain to fall,
from the current to lead
things where they do not want to go
And have the patience of the waves to come and go,
come back to flow.
An airplane passes fast
And I stop to think about
everyone that are departing,
that run away or are just hanging
For days, months, years
Where you feel like someone
that is lost between always
larger goals.
It happens because, in an instant
Everything else becomes invisible,
Devoid of meaning and unattainable for me,
That happens because I pretend that everything always goes well
But I don’t think so, at last.
We will return to have more time,
And to walk on the streets
that we have chosen,
That sometimes hurt,
To have the patience of the waves
to come, and go
And you are unable to understand.
It happens because, in an instant
Everything else becomes invisible,
Devoid of meaning and unattainable for me,
It happens even if the wind brings everything away with it,
living… and come back to flow, again.
come back to flow
come back to flow
come back to flow…
Italian
Stammi vicino stanotte
non riesco a dormire,
troppi pensieri si affollano
nella mia mente…
non mi lasciano stare
non mi fanno sognare,
voglio solo abbandonare la realtà
e seguire la mia anima
che uccide l’inquietudine
di vivere,
di essere soli e cambiare,
per tornare leggeri come l’aria
come ieri…
Vorrei non essere costretto a fingere
per rimanere ancora qui
perché mi sono perso in questo posto
ma non voglio andare via così.
E torneremo leggeri come l’aria
come ieri…
English
Stay close tonight
I can’t sleep,
too much thoughts are crowding
in my mind …
they don’t leave me alone
they don’t make me dream
I want only to abandon reality
and follow my soul
that kills the queasiness
of living,
of being alone and to change,
to came back light like the air
like yesterday …
I wish I wouldn’t be forced to pretend
to still remain in this place
cause I lost myself here
but I don’t want to go away, in this way.
And we will be light again like the air
like yesterday …
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