It’s me…

Neurotic, vitriolic, nefarious.

… it’s me?

The perception of myself by other people, has always been a mystery for me.

In the last years I spent a lot of time to comprehend other people.
First, I did it with the persons near me, like schoolmates or neighbors.
After that I started to do so in huge virtual communities, and chat rooms.
At the end I approached to mass-multi-player games and I nearly found what I was searching for.

In my life, in this way, I had known a lot of persons, trying to comprehend them and -doing this- I was often observed by them.

That was never been a problem for me, cause in every relation I was always ready to vanish, in the same way I was previously appeared.
The problem is that, often, people get pissed off of that game if I pass too much time with them.
And if people get closer…
… I get crazy.

Sometimes I think that I should always give less about myself to other people…
… cause when you do, in that precise instant, they think to know you better.
It’s odd, that a prologue made from Giorgio Gaber explains this in a funny way: Il Coniglio

Masks, terrible behaviours, hate acts, fouling presence.
People still prowls around me and often hurts me with their words made of glass.

Do you want to know the truth? The truth is that I’m still searching the truth.
That research is very tough, and every piece of energy that I waste in this moment, risk to compromise everything I worked so hard in this years.

I cannot allow anyone to interfere with my objectives.
I can trust no-one, cause everyone have always betrayed me.
I want that no-one pretends to understand me.
I am alone. Just leave me alone.